Sunday 26 September 2010

The frustration with meetings!

I get very frustrated when I go to meetings and find that the other people there aren’t really there at all. They spend an inordinate amount of time thinking their own thoughts. They are not prepared for the meeting and they think that by repeating a point already made they will show that they are contributing. However, by far the biggest frustration is the lack of listening. Although most business leaders will say that listening is extremely important, research indicates that we actually spend 75% of our time not listening and when we do listen we only recall about 25% – 50% of what is said, even when we really pay attention!

So what are we actually listening to when we listen? Only 10% of our message is communicated through words, while 50% is our body language and 40% is the tone of our voice. That is one of the reasons why communication via the telephone is fraught with misunderstanding.

Coming back to the problem of really attending meetings here are some points to consider;
  • During the meeting be aware of how often you are not thinking about what others are saying rather thinking about your relationship to them and how valid their contribution is. Put this judgement to one side and concentrate without preconceptions,
  • Be aware when your mind is drifting off on your inner conversation and make the effort to focus on the speaker’s body language, tone and words,
  • Notice how your mind jumps to conclusions or want to “make a point” rather than listen and understand. Which is more interesting: understanding what the other person is trying to say or making your own point?
  • Take note of yours and other people’s physical gestures, as this tells you a lot about their attitude and readiness to listen too.
  • Notice when someone’s words say one thing and their tone of voice conveys a different message. Which message has a greater impact on you?
  • Above all be curious, when appropriate, asking questions and probing to better understand and clarify what others are saying rather than trying to second guess them or jump in to make your point.

Friday 24 September 2010

Mentoring for Success

Over the past year I’ve been working with Mentor-net. Mentor-net is the business mentoring scheme for Hampshire and the Isle of Wight. It is a confidential service provided by the not-for-profit Mentor-net program and volunteer Business Mentors, who are drawn from experienced members of the business community and the professions. I would like to extend my experience to people who are not part of this wonderful service.


My understanding of a mentor is essentially a ‘wise or trusted adviser or guide’. The word has its origins in Homer’s The Odyssey. Before leaving to fight the Trojan war, Odysseus leaves his son and estate in the care of his friend Mentor, who then guides the young Telemachus. I rather like this connection as Telemachus's name in Greek means "far from battle” and mentoring is most definitely a relationship of support .

To give it a more modern context, I see a mentor as someone with experience or wisdom, sharing and imparting their knowledge on to someone younger or less experienced. The concept works incredibly well in a business environment where an entrepreneur may have a great idea for a business but needs a bit of guidance turning it into a successful and profitable venture. Successful entrepreneurs will often attribute much of their achievement to the support and guidance they received from a mentor. Most notably, billionaire airline and entertainment industry mogul Richard Branson was mentored by the British airline entrepreneur Freddie Laker.

A business mentor is someone who can act as a sounding board for your ideas and plans. They bring their own unique experience of life and business and are willing to share their skills and knowhow with you. Having a business mentor can help you to focus, to look at your business from a different perspective. This is essential to identify strategies and opportunities for improvement and growth.

As a business mentor I am not a consultant, I will only mentor from my own experience. By acting as a sounding board for you, I walk alongside you as your business grows. My role as a business mentor is to support and develop, stimulate and challenge.

The way you choose to approach mentoring will be dependent on how much involvement you agree to, or request me to have with your business. I can work extremely closely with you, speaking or meeting most weeks or even days. However, in most cases I will have less of a day-to-day involvement. Instead I’ll provide help every few weeks or months which could take the form of phone calls, emails, face-to-face meetings or a combination of all of these.

Mentoring can be a very formal and structured process with regular meetings which follow a specific agenda and set of goals. It can also be quite a casual arrangement, where you as the mentee calls on me as and when problems or questions arise.

The main thing to remember about mentoring is that it’s not just a one-off meeting, or opportunity to pick my brains. It’s an ongoing relationship where both parties must be committed to achieving certain goals and willing to live up to their end of the bargain.

If you’d like to try it out please visit my mentoring site and we can arrange a taster session.